Overheard on the R2

Right. No. It’s soda. And I don’t give little children soda. It has nitrates in it. No. Okay here we go.
30th street station, next stop.
You are really going to get a dose of the old… [something]
No. The only reason why is you drank that whole Mickey D’s milk and I know your bladder is like [something]. And I just don’t want it to go kapow. I’ll take those chips from you. Stop it. Dude, I swear. I can’t wait until we get home. This is what I have had to deal with all day. Remember all this that you are doing to me. Because you are in for a special treat when you get home. It’s called jalapeño spiced butt. I’m counting every time you kick me. You are going to be grounded all day. Dude I need [something], by tomorrow. Just because of that little boy. You think people want their clothes all over where you are putting your feet. You sit up there with that hat and be quiet. I have just realized how devastating you have become. Sit up, son. This is what you do to me in public. At home you are a different child. Sit up and put this in your lap. Back in my day, parents used to be able to hit their children in public, but now someone like me would go to jail for that. I can’t believe the change in my little boy. I’m embarrassed. Do you know what that means? Boy, if I would’ve known you were going to act like this today, I would’ve never came down here. What? You wish you had some sleep? Turn around and sit down. Turn around and SIT DOWN. No, I’ve had enough of you today. Turn around and sit down. People know here that you don’t get disciplined and that’s why you act like this.
[Train stops somewhere after 30th street station before University City] This is engineer to the conductor for the third time.
[Train resumes. Conversation between man who looks like to be about 50 with a 20 year old beard, long grey hair and glasses and his 6 year old son stops.]
Tickets please.
[Conversation four seats in front of me begins again, much to my delight.]
Out of all the years of me coming down here. This is the first time you coming here has ever been this way. The whole way here and the whole way there you have been disrespecting. Since you moved to that neighborhood. I saw that boy and how he disrespected his mother and you have been around him too much. I promise you, when we get home you are going to wish you had a different family. 5 years of you knowing me dude, you have never acted like that. You are grounded for the day. You are never going to act like that for the day. I hope I never run into any of these people ever again. No tv, no treats.
[Boy begins to cry loudly. Everyone in the car can here.]
Please let me play, I just want to play.
You’ve got 8 minutes to convince me, like I told you. I know. Relax. I told you, we’ll talk about it.
I can’t play.
Is your belly okay?
No.
Darby.
The whole thing is how you act here from now.
Just a few more stops now.
Do you have half a quarter? What? You don’t? Sit up on that seat right there again. Come on this is hard, you are hurting my heart.
I want to play.
Babe stop, you’re hurting my heart. You shouldn’t be a follower you should be a leader. Like you were. A cool dude.
Sharon Hill, next.
I could only do this [something].
You did the better than I could.
Look. Look. Well, look. It’s a wolf!
Folcroft is next.
[At this point the man makes a gesture with his hand towards his face which brings the back of his hand into view over the seats and I notice he has some really insane looking prison tattoo. And then I realize he reminds me a lot of Charles Manson.
Dude, what? We almost missed our stop.
[They get off at the last second at Glenolden and walk away. I notice he has a lot more than one tattoo on both of his hands. His tattooed hand holds the little boy’s while his other holds a shopping bag from The Children’s Place.]
Norwood. Norwood.
[I’ll be in Wilmington by 4:12 hopefully.]
Prospect Park. Prospect Park.