ChaCha for real

I first heard about ChaCha about a month or so back when I was in Texas. A guy in a band we were on tour with happened to mention a friend of his who would just answer text messages about random things and make about .10 cents per question. I thought this guy was kidding. It instantly made me think of those hilarious commercials I kept seeing for KGB with the dude from Gilmore Girls running through people’s yards telling you recipes for Daiquiris. “Just text 542-542 if you need me!” So my next thought was: so people actually answer these questions? Independent contracting? That’s wild. Well ChaCha is the same thing but better (my employee loyalty may have already kicked in or maybe it’s that they just pay better than KGB.) So this whole thing sounds easy right? Sounds awesome? Well I thought so. And the best thing is I keep telling people about it and no one knows what the fuck I am talking about. I would have figured by now everyone would have been blowing this place up, but apparently they haven’t been hiring so frequently as of late. So here is the story of how I lucked out and got to tell people what the score of the Liverpool match was for about $1.50 an hour.

I remember looking it up online and seeing that signing up didn't seem that difficult so I thought I might give it a shot, but figured I would wait to try it when I wasn't roaming around the country in a van with a broken laptop. This way I could actually dedicate some time to it. Well here I am, I have been home for some three weeks and I finally decided to give it a shot. After about two and a half hours of "training" and taking about three quizzes to prove my worth, and further, waiting about two days for my results, I was hired. Today was my first day working for these people whom I will never meet and I have to say I have enjoyed it so far. The training videos were pretty annoying, but I will have to say they tried pretty hard to make it entertaining. Some colorful use of language by some über-geeks probably had something to do with that. Maybe it wasn't intentional, but it was funny. So about two or three hours later I have made about $4.00 and change while watching baseball and drinking beer. I set up direct deposit. I get to answer some of the most hilarious questions ever (more on this later) and I get to stop whenever I feel consumed by the overwhelming stupidity of the masses. Unfortunately, I know there will be some frustration that will come along with this, so for now, I hold my breath. You have to make your first cool hundo before they start paying you. My goal is to do that before the 15th so I can make some extra bills, but that’s kind of hard when I have to ignore questions while I write this post. I would say ChaCha should give me a bonus for giving them a good review, but ChaCha is essentially run by me and single-mothers and people on house arrest who need drug money. So needless to say, they aren’t reading my blog (hopefully because there is more on this too). So without further adieu, here are my favorite questions from my first day of work being a ChaCha guide.

1. Where is the Shift key?
2. What’s the difference?
3. Are the Dodgers going to win the World Series? (Probably the most hilarious one.)
4. Are you a robot?
5. Will the Phillies win tonight? (This one is always easy, especially when they are down by 7 runs going into the 7th inning― they always do.)

And to whoever asked me who played Artemis at the Langey College production of the Ant and the Grasshopper in Oakland: First of all, maybe your fat fingers inhibited you from typing the actual name of the college LANEY and the fable that is known as the ANTS and the Grasshopper and second of all, Why? Are you crushing on Artemis? Well I didn’t tell you who it was because I couldn’t find out with the terrible information you provided. Luckily ChaCha has empowered me with a button called “Clarify” where I click and pass the question onto the next unsuspecting housewife sipping on a Daiquiri who may or may not pull her hair out after you “clarify” your question. Good luck you fuck. And good luck to me answering some more questions about the Brewer game.